Wot my Mum thinks

A couple of posts ago, I wrote about trying to absolve myself of 'should', concluding that "should is the influence of other people, should is a nasty, nasty word and that 'should' is unhappiness." I've never quoted myself before. It feels good, I can tell you. Anyhow, I sent this post to my mother, because she knows I blog but I've never had the guts/foolhardiness to tell her, out of fear (the Christianity she tried very hard to instill has now entirely lapsed, or collapsed, into mindless hedonism), embarassment (he has sex? he's a bitch?) and, well, more fear, probably of being disowned. So, I selected a post which I thought would pass muster and she emailed me this back and I thought it was inneresting so here it is:

Isn't the erasure of "should" simply a formula for hedonism, egocentricity and, eventually, personal and societal anarchy? To many of the post Vietnam generation (alias your contemporaries) there is a real sense of a need to break away from history, because you have been fed the theory that history and tradition are stifling and irrelevant. They purportedly censure individuality, and disallow personal, unfettered exploration and fruition. But I see this as a very limited, introverted perception. If you then do all the things that your impulses require - love wildly, give up work, get drunk, do drugs and so on - what is the end product, and what is achieved? And who is affected? We are a group animal, not an isolate. Even if we choose ideological isolation, our actions disprove the theory, because all words and actions have an effect on those around us - in both a physical and metaphysical way. I think it is far more beneficial to look at "shoulds" dispassionately, and value them for what they are - a framework for the function of society (show me any healthy society in which no-one works), and an essential moral code that sustains and vitalises our fellow man. Perhaps, when you ran up the escalator in wild abandon ( and it's great fun, I might add - yeh, I was young once) that you may have been judging the old people in suits as much as they were you. Our whole purpose in life is to love those around us (not lust, I hasten to add) and the bottom line of this is respect

What this shows is that a) I should probably have sent her another post and b) my mum is smarter than your mum.

No, she makes some good points, from One Generation to Another. I agree that removing 'should' is indeed a recipe for disaster, but only on a societal scale. But here we see the essence of our difference - she has an end point to look forward to, the earnt promise of eternal life, whereas I have nothing but the void, the oblivion of sleep without dreams. Ah, I should quit the melodramatics. Who am I kidding? Once death starts to take real form, once I age and start feeling old, I'll be begging God to forgive me my transgressions, youthful and otherwise.

---

God, I don't understand life. You start out as clones of your parents, aping and idolising them only to rebel and cast off all of their ways and methods of thinking when hormones and self kick in, before realising that somewhere along the line you have BECOME your mother or father. Usually after you hit 40 and have Kids of Your Own.

---

Yesterday, I was thinking that there is a great tragedy pervading contemporary Western society. (God, I love it when I have thoughts that start like that). Our heightened levels of individualism - a feature not particularly common in historical societies - came about because individualism was harnessed to Christianity. But now that we live in what has been trumpeted as the "Post-Christian Society" (well, by lefties in New York and London who don't get out to the 'burbs, anyway), the hold of Christianity is falling away, and with it the promise of eternal salvation. Historically, Christian societies believed that salvation was a personal matter, that life was a maze of choice which if navigated correctly would lead you, the individual, the creature made in the image of the creator, to the Pearly Gates when at last your earthly toil was over. Now, Christian salvation has passed most of us by, but we're left with a reminder, our strong individualism which required individual salvation to justify it. What salvation is left? There are many smaller salvations vying to fill the vacuum; the false promise of permanent youth, psychobabble head-tweaking (from doormat to Assertive Do-er in 30 days or less!), the distractions of movies/TV/pop culture, escapes from reality which lessen the reality of the final escape; a transformation in our thinking from earning an unending blissful now after the toil of the present (what was the bliss of Heaven meant to be like, anyhow? Was it better than sex?) to exploring a succession of unending now's, a now without end, Amen.

---