I blame it on being brought up without a tv: if there are words near me, I read them. And if there are no words to read, I get fidgety, jumpy. I read a lot of books growing up, and its a hard habit to break. This little obsession manifests itself in odd places - driving the car, I read ads compulsively. In the tram, I analyse the use of words in stickers. But the worst is during breakfast, when there's no paper to read. Often, I have to make to with the cereal packet. Yup, I'm serious. I actively read the packet. I could cite you the difference in sugar levels between NutraGrain and Special K without thinking about it. It's pretty damn sad, but it has turned up one item of interest: cereal packet philosopy. Special K advises you to Keep It Simple, to live a balanced life, while Just Right advises you to take "me time" out of each day. "Make the decision to take time out for just five minutes and see how self-empowered you feel," it suggests. "Once you start to feel better, this can help you perform better." Gee, thanks Kelloggs. I wouldn't have made it without you. Why are there these nuggets of pop-psychology here for us? Do they know that we are at our most vulnerable shortly after awakening, the most receptive for new-agey me-me-me ideas when dreading work? Have they employed focus groups? And the disturbing thing is the way these popular philosophies - think about yourself more, take time out for you, balance your hectic life - mesh so seamlessly with the product. Just Right bills itself as a balance between heavy and light, a model for our lives. "When life is one big juggling act, feeling that little extra sense of vitality can mean the difference between getting through your day and getting through your day and really enjoying it." And you can select your morning pep-up talk according to what type of person you are. A red-blooded, competitive male? Choose NutraGrain, to have your competitive drive reflected back to you and validated. Want your kids to eat right? Choose Corn Flakes, to have the packet admonish your kids not to skip breakfast, the most important meal of the day (apparently). Because nameless studies show that "kids who have a nutritious breakfast every morning are more likely to pay attention at school and have more energy to take on life's adventures!"

No, I don't know if I'm being serious or not. But I'm sure there's a thesis in there somewhere.