I have a hangover. Quite a large one. In fact, it's the drunkest I've been since my teens, I think, and it was definitely my most foolish escapade.

So: Pat kindly let me drink his duty free Wodka, which is divine and lethal. We went somewhere bar-like. Camille and Jock arrived. I was so pleased to see them that I just had to pour beer on Camille's lap because I thought it was funny (!) before Jock retaliated on her startled behalf. I then told everyone the intensely amusing story (for them) of my first abortive and soul-destroying attempt to lose my virginity, which just wouldn't take the hint and fuck off. Most of the bar heard and sniggered. Oh, and then who appeared? A girl from high school who I was interested in solely for lustful purposes, to my shame and discredit. And eternal embarrassment, because she keeps appearing in my life to make me feel bad. Like last night. Although this time I was too drunk to wince, instead opting for a loud retelling of the trials and tribulations of my teenage lust. I then bit some people (?), hugged some people, and collapsed in bed. My head hurts