A bad pun

Why don't celebrities start promoting drugs? Perfume and clothing lines are a direct link to chemical wonderlands. And I'm not just talking the hottest new line of cocaine (now with 50% fewer nosebleeds and heavily reduced washing powder!). Nup, celebrities need to get into pharmabusiness. But because most prescription drugs have to have stupid ingredient names like Xanax or Tylerol or Aqualan that sexify Latin, my first prescription (ha) is...

Parishiltomol! A new combination pain-reliever and profile-booster tried and tested by most of Hollywood! Simply take one before bedtime, film the process and rake in the dollars from CelebrityPorn.com. With new and improved essence of heiress, Parishiltomol is guaranteed not to leave unsightly stains on your tongue and dissolves readily under gentle pressure.

Ah, enough.