The performance

Well, everybody seemed to like my rendition of 'Everybody Poops'. In fact, without meaning to boast, I'd say the audience was entranced. Possibly even intoxicated. They clung to every word I uttered, followed my every gesture with adoration and laughed in all the right places. When it was revealed that both elephants and giraffes pooped, there was nearly a riot. And when I carefully dramatised 'A one-hump camel does a one-hump poop, and a two hump camel does a two-hump poop', let me just say that audience members had to be physically restrained. In short, I rocked the kindergarten like nothing else. Expect a repeat performance sometime soon. After that, it was convieniently peepee and poopie time, and there was a general dash to the toddler-sized loos. Yep, just another glamorous day, here in Japan.

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I caught the train home with J___, an excellent American (i.e, he doesn't unfavorably compare Japan to 'back home') and D___, a Colombian-Italian. The journey was memorable, to say the least. D is honest and simple, a man who likes lovemaking and likes to talk about it. Sadly, he's been constrained by a girlfriend for the last three years and so lives his life vicariously. So he told us the story of his friend Marvin with relish, as J and I exchanged glances. Marvin spends a large amount of his time on what he calls a job. His work produces a regular supply of money, and he treats it quite seriously. Marvin is a slut. He dresses well, frequents expensive bars and as a result, attracts attractive, moneyed women. He then attempts a seduction, which often works, and becomes engaged in an affair. Before long, he springs his trap, claiming that it's his birthday. The moneyed women then purchase him expensive items. Marvin has a ten thousand dollar Rolex. He has excellent furniture, a well-appointed apartment and enough free cash floating around to make this his life's work. He treats golddigging like work - organising, setting down rules, discarding those he deems unlikely to provide. He reminds me of the dodgy Russian bride websites, where lonely gullible Western men fall in love with a Russian 'bride' on the net, forward them the money for the flight and then wait at the airport for many hours until they can bring themselves to admit they've been had.

I have to meet Marvin. I really do. There is a good story to be written here, because Marvin is not alone. One of the main reasons the (largely male) expat/temporary expat community is here is to take advantage of the large pool of Japanese women who would like a foreign boyfriend. Marvin has simply refined common techniques.

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