"Are U 22+ and wanting to have a baby?"
"Unhappily married man looking to meet a special lady"
"Submissive man, 60+ seeks very dominant woman for relationship on her terms"
"Young guy 22 seeks older hairy man for noisy fun times"
"Couple's party companion female sought by prof guy 38 to attend party"

Oh, I do so love personal ads. I love seeing people distil themselves down to their basics and make themselves acronyms (n/s, s/d, tert ed, DTE, fin sec). I love most how people seem to know exactly what they want - and have the surprising belief that this person exists, reads personal ads and thinks of themselves in the same distilled fashion.

Sample reader deep in thought: Mm.. 30+ (yep, that's me), fun (of course), Hawthorn supporter (can pretend), slim (borderline)... Asian? Damn. Pipped at the post. It's the best page in any local paper.

The Indian matchmaking sites are fantastic as well - in keeping with the caste system, you can select your chosen skin colour and ethnic background. Wow.